Saturday, September 3, 2011

Trust Me!

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans:15:13 NLT
Last night was a rough one. My mom who lives with me had what I will call an “episode of obsession”.  Somehow her thoughts took her to thinking about her photo ID that will expire next year on her 85th birthday. She became very consumed in worry about how she was going to be able to renew it. I assured her that she had a full year before it would expire and that I would make sure it was renewed well in advance of it’s expiration. Yet, she continued to fret and worry as she began to search her address book for the phone number and address of who to contact regarding her ID. 
As I sat down beside her, I reminded her that I knew this was important to her and that it was important to me too. I promised her I would not forget to take care of this and then asked her if she trusted me to take care of all the things she no longer can do for herself alone. She said “Yes, but...” So we went round and round a few times as I tried to assure her of my competence to take care of this important matter. I again asked her to trust me and she kept saying she believed me and trusted me. 
Finally after many reassurances, I told her I loved her and then made her promise me to stop searching in her purse and drawer for information that I already possessed and would take care of. She said she loved me too and with a laugh we “agreed” that she would stop worrying about her ID. But she did not keep her promise. I saw that she was consumed in worry by the “unknown” of how I would get this done for her. So I went to my computer and found all the information we would need, printed it out and showed it to her. Finally, she seemed to breath a sign of relief as she “believed” me by seeing that I did have all the necessary paperwork to send in. After a while I went into her room to see how she was doing and she was contently reading her book. She looked up at me and smiled saying, "I feel it will be ok to wait until next year to renew my photo ID”. 
This morning as I sat and read my Bible, I found myself feeling very overwhelmed with sadness and dissatisfied with my life. My thoughts were filled with missing Brad. I was longing for what I had with him and feeling very depressed. I tried to pray but couldn’t. So, I sat silently instead. 
It was in the quiet I heard the Lord speak to my heart and ask; “Do you trust Me? I promised you I would take care of you. I will make sure you have all your needs met before any one of them “expires”. Stop worrying and can trust Me.”
I had to smile as I recognized some of my own assurances to my mom the night before and even more... I saw myself, as my mom, in my consuming thoughts of worry over the things I can not do alone. 
So I prayed. “Thank you Lord for loving me and for caring about what is important to me and treating them as important to you. Help me to place my complete trust in you so that I am able to take my eyes and thoughts off of me and find your rest from all concerns. I know You have every one of my needs in your hand and You will not fail to provide for each one as the need arises. Oh Lord, I am filled with joy and hope when I am found trusting you. I am greatly blessed to be given the opportunities your give me to serve the needs of others with the power of Christ in me. When my eyes leave me and are focused firmly on Jesus, I discover peace and find rest in hope. All glory is to God. Amen.”
Depend on the Lord;
       trust him, and he will take care of you
. ~  Psalms 37:5 NCV

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